How People Cope With Change (and Why Coaching Helps)

Change is a constant in work and life, yet it still has a way of catching us off guard.

Promotions, restructures, health changes, new technologies, shifting identities, and global events can stir up excitement, fear, and uncertainty - sometimes all at once.

Our instinct is often to push through or resist. But change isn’t a single moment to ‘handle’, rather, it’s an ongoing psychological process we move through.

And it can be confronting.

Understanding how humans process change makes the experience less overwhelming - and more constructive.

When we understand what’s happening beneath the surface, we can recognise our reactions, regulate them, and respond with intention rather than panic.

This is also where coaching becomes incredibly powerful.

Coaching helps people navigate change with clarity, meaning, and consistency - allowing individuals, leaders, and teams to move through uncertainty with greater confidence.

Below are the essential psychological insights that explain why change feels hard, how we cope, and how coaching supports real, sustainable adaptation.

Why Change Feels Hard

When change happens, the brain asks one core question: ‘Am I safe?’

Psychologists Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman describe this through their Transactional Model of Stress and Coping (1), which shows we subconsciously appraise every situation in two steps:

• Primary appraisal: Is this a threat, a challenge, or irrelevant?
• Secondary appraisal: Do I have the resources to cope?

When a change feels threatening and uncontrollable, the stress response activates - heart rate rises, thinking narrows, and behaviour shifts into avoidance, worry, or rigidity.

When a change feels manageable, the brain releases focus and motivation, making adaptation easier.

In other words, how we interpret change matters as much as the change itself.

The Role of Uncertainty

Uncertainty is one of the strongest drivers of stress.

Research shows that low tolerance of uncertainty is linked to anxiety, indecision, and reduced problem-solving capacity (2).

When the future feels unpredictable - new leadership, new technology, life events – the brain tends to fill the gaps by imagining worst-case scenarios.

Building ‘uncertainty tolerance’ helps interrupt this pattern.

Instead of assuming danger, we can learn to mindfully notice discomfort, widen our perspective, and make clearer choices.

How Most People Adapt to Change

Despite how difficult change can feel, research shows that most people adapt far better than expected.

Psychologist George Bonanno's resilience research (3) identifies four common response trajectories following major life or work stressors:

• Resilience: stable, healthy functioning throughout change
• Recovery: a temporary dip followed by improvement
• Chronic distress: ongoing difficulty with little relief
• Delayed reaction: coping well initially, then worsening later

The encouraging truth?

Resilience is the most common path we take (4).

Knowing that ups and downs are normal helps remove shame and creates space for curiosity, compassion, and support.

How People Cope With Change

Coping is simply the set of thoughts and behaviours we use to manage internal and external demands. It’s not about being ‘strong’ or ‘weak’ – rather coping is about fit, how well our strategies match the situation.

Lazarus and Folkman's work (1) identifies three core coping styles:

1. Problem focussed coping: Taking practical steps to influence or change the situation (e.g., planning, seeking information, adjusting workflows). Best used when the situation is changeable
2. Emotion focussed coping: Managing feelings rather than altering the situation directly (e.g., mindfulness, movement, journaling, social connection). Best used when circumstances can’t be immediately changed
3. Meaning focussed coping: Finding purpose or perspective in the change (e.g., reframing challenges, reconnecting to values, identifying opportunities for growth). Best used when motivation or direction is needed.

Effective coping is flexible coping as it gives you the ability to move between strategies depending on what’s needed in the moment.

This flexibility is one of the strongest predictors of resilience and wellbeing (5).

Theoretical Models That Make Change Easier to Understand

Several well-validated frameworks help us understand why change feels disruptive and how we can move through it with greater ease: 

Bridges’ Transition Model

William Bridges (6) distinguishes change (external events) from transition (the psychological process. He outlines three phases:

• Ending / Letting Go: acknowledging loss, identity shifts, disruption
• Neutral Zone: uncertainty, creativity, reorientation
• New Beginning: renewed energy, clarity, and confidence

Recognising your phase promotes compassion and reduces self-criticism

Transtheoretical Model 

Prochaska & DiClemente (7) describe behaviour change as unfolding in 6 stages:

• Precontemplation: Not yet recognising a need for change - the focus is on increasing awareness and gently exploring possibilities without pressure.
• Contemplation: Acknowledging that change may be useful but feeling uncertain; reflection, values, and weighing pros and cons are most helpful here.
• Preparation: Getting ready to act by gathering resources, making plans, and removing barriers to make the next step easier.
• Action: Taking concrete steps toward change; consistency, support, and feedback help build momentum.
• Maintenance: Sustaining progress over time by reinforcing new habits and anticipating challenges before they arise.
• Relapse/Recycle: Returning to old patterns is normal; the key is to view it as information, not failure, and re-enter the cycle with greater insight.

Matching strategies to the stage increases success. For example, contemplation requires reflection, not action.

Psychological Flexibility

From Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), psychological flexibility is the capacity to stay present, open, and values-driven - even when life is hard (8).

High psychological flexibility predicts:

• lower stress
• higher wellbeing
• better work performance
• greater adaptability

This is the meta-skill that supports all other change processes.

Five Evidence-Based Micro-Skills for Navigating Change

Drawn from major psychological research programs (e.g., Lazarus & Folkman, ACT, stress physiology, behavioural science, etc).  

1. Reappraise What You Can and Cannot Control: Clarifying controllable vs. uncontrollable factors reduces overwhelm and restores agency.
2. Practise Small 'Uncertainty Reps': Gradual exposure to uncertainty builds tolerance and reduces anxiety.
3. Anchor in Values: Values provide direction when circumstances feel unstable.
4. Match Action to Your Stage of Change: Avoid jumping to action prematurely - match the step to your stage.
5. Regulate Emotions via the Body: Slow breathing, movement, and micro-pauses signal safety to the nervous system.

Small actions repeated consistently make change feel more manageable.

Where Coaching Fits (and Why It Works)

Even when people know what they ‘should’ do, behaviour often stays stuck.

Change doesn’t happen through insight alone - it requires structure, reflection, and accountability.

Coaching helps people:

• Clarify what they truly want
• Understand thoughts, patterns, and reactions
• Build strategies aligned with their values (8)
• Take action and sustain it (9).

Coaching works because it supports the same mechanisms that underpin coping and adaptation. 

During major work transitions - restructures, leadership changes, personal crossroads, a coach acts as a thinking partner, helping people move from reactivity to purposeful action.

How Kinwork Coaching Helps You Adapt

Change is inevitable. Suffering through it isn’t.

Kinwork helps individuals, leaders, and teams navigate change from the inside out — combining evidence-based frameworks with practical, values-driven support.

We offer:

• 1:1 coaching to unpack stress responses, clarify goals, and build flexibility
• Leadership and team coaching to guide groups through transition with structure and empathy
•  Workshops and programs teaching micro-skills for adaptability and wellbeing

Whether you’re facing personal uncertainty or leading others through it, Kinwork provides the science, structure, and support to help you move forward with confidence.

References

1. Folkman, S., Lazarus, R. S., Dunkel-Schetter, C., DeLongis, A., & Gruen, R. J. (1986). Dynamics of a Stressful Encounter: Cognitive Appraisal, Coping, and Encounter Outcomes. Journal of personality and social psychology, 50(5), 992-1003. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.50.5.992

2. Carleton, R. N. (2016). Fear of the unknown: One fear to rule them all? Journal of anxiety disorders, 41, 5-21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2016.03.011

3. Bonanno, G. A. (2004). Loss, Trauma, and Human Resilience: Have We Underestimated the Human Capacity to Thrive After Extremely Aversive Events? The American psychologist , 59(1), 20-28. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.59.1.20

4. Bonanno, G. A., & Diminich, E. D. (2013). Annual Research Review: Positive adjustment to adversity - trajectories of minimal-impact resilience and emergent resilience.Journal of child psychology and psychiatry, 54 (4), 378-401. http://doi.org/10.1111/jcpp.12021

5. Cheng, C. (2001). Assessing Coping Flexibility in Real-Life and Laboratory Settings: A Multimethod Approach. Journal of personality and social psychology, 80(5), 814-833. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.80.5.814 

6. Bridges, W. (2003). Managing transitions : making the most of change (2nd , updated and expand ed.). Nicholas Brealey Publishing. 

7. Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K., Wilson, K. G., & ProQuest. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy the process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

8. Theeboom, T., Beersma, B., & van Vianen, A. E. M. (2014). Does coaching work? A meta-analysis on the effects of coaching on individual level outcomes in an organizational context. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 9(1), 1-18. https://doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2013.837499

9. Jones, R. J., Woods, S. A., & Guillaume, Y. R. F. (2016). The effectiveness of workplace coaching: A meta-analysis of learning and performance outcomes from coaching. Journal of occupational and organizational psychology, 89(2), 249-277. https://doi.org/10.1111/joop.12119